A Sneak Peak

A SNEAK PEAK - ANTHOLOGY SHORTS

WITHOUT A TRACE

I search the whole world over. I never found what you once gave me. It seems that what you gave to me is not replaceable. It's a one of a kind love that everyone should experience at least once in their lives.

That's why I can't understand why our love just disappeared without a trace. As if it didn't exist for you and for me. All the happiness and the joy that we once shared. It just up and went away without a trace.

Without a trace, I never saw it coming. You never saw it coming, because what we felt was so unimaginable to the naked eye. It seemed that it wasn't real.

It was as real as I am standing here with my arms stretched out. Pleading and confessing my love. Can you hear my cries?

Your love my love is just gone. Gone without a trace. When I close my eyes each night. I pray that I dream of you.

It gives me such satisfaction to know that. Maybe just maybe one day, I could get that back again. The love that we lose without a trace.

MY LOVER WON'T EAT WITH ME

As I sit here another night all alone. In my one bedroom apartment. All that I can do is just wish. Wish that my lover was here. Sitting across from me, sharing a meal with me. Just once, I wish that he didn't have to go home to his wife and children.

Don't think of them and go home. To break bread with her and the children. Does it make me selfish? That I want a man so desperately that isn't mind. Or maybe she's really the selfish one. Hogging my lover all to herself. How rude of the women, he's been married to her for 15 years and some change. Let someone else get a turn.

Now as I look down at my steak mashed potatoes and green beans. I get the feeling that he's thinking of me. I mean right at this very moment. I think that his food is getting just as ice cold as mine. I think that I will give him an ultimatum. Yes, the very next time we meet in the night. In that secluded hideaway bar in Chinatown.

I will tell my lover if you can't have dinner with me. At least one freakin 'night out of this infidelity relationship. Then I will never want to see you again. Now is that so much to ask? I really don't think so, I am much too beautiful and intelligent. To be sitting home again all by my lonesome.

I know, I'm playing myself. Just letting this man have his cake and he's eating it as well. I can always get myself another married man. It'll be the same ol trip though. He'll have to go home and have dinner with his wife and children. Hmmm should I just get used to eating dinner for one?

GIVE UP THE FIGHT

I'm coughing suddenly, I can't breathe. It feels like my lungs are deflating. What is happening to me right now.

Oh it's you leaving me for another woman again.

Just how long am I going to allow you to do this to me? I'm a fool, the biggest fool that exists on this planet. I know that I can do better than you. What can I do about this love I have and feel for you?

Just please tell me how to shake your ass and I'll do it. Do it in a heartbeat. In a New York hot minute. Even though I don't come from there. Does anybody have to be born and raised in New York to do that?

Please, I'm begging you not to leave me. Not to once again try to tempt me to finally throw my hands up and give up the fight. Don't you feel that I'm worth sacrificing your extra curriculums? Shouldn't I be enough for you? Don't I give it to you every time you want it? Do I ever turn you away baby?

I'm tired of you disregarding my feelings. Like they don't matter none. I'm almost there suga, almost at the point of giving up the fight. Now when I do give up the fight. Please don't stop me please. I know what I'll do, I'll stop packing my bags. Then turn and run right back into your damn no good arms again.

A SNEAK PEAK - POEMS

FREE

TAKE ME TO A PLACE WHERE I CAN FEEL FREE

FREE TO GROW WINGS AND TAKE FLIGHT

FREE TO BE ANY AND ALL THINGS

WHERE NO ONE AND NOTHING CAN STAND IN MY WAY OF MY DESTINY

FREE TO BE ME

FEARLESS

OH FEARLESS ONE'S

THE ONES WHO THINK THAT THEY DON’T HAVE TO ANSWER TO GOD WHEN THEIR DIRTY DEED IS DONE

FEARLESS TO THE BAD DREAMS THAT RUNS IN THEIR HEADS

FEARLESS ONLY TO YOURSELF

THAT HELPS YOU SLEEP COMFORTABLY IN YOUR BEDS

TO EVERYONE ELSE YOU ARE A COWARD THAT RUNS AND HIDE WHEN IT'S TIME TO STAND UP AND BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS

BE FEARLESS IN DEALING WITH YOUR CONSEQUENCES

PARDON ME MAY I HAVE SOME SATISFACTIONS

DON'T MAKE ME RELY ON YOU TELLING THE TRUTH

BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE FEARLESS IF YOU DO

DEMONS

MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH DEMONS

I TRY TO BREAK AWAY

BUT A FEW ARE HERE FOREVER

SEVERAL ARE HERE TO STAY

THOUGHTS OF DESPAIR TAKES OVER MY MIND

I JUST WISHED SOMETIMES

I WAS HARD TO FIND

DEMONS HAS TAKEN CONTROL OF MY SOUL THEY ARE SO BOLD

TRUTH BE TOLD

WHERE I LOOK AND TURN I CAN’T BREAK FREE FROM THEM

THE ARE MY FAMILY

THEY ARE MY FRIEND

I WORK WITH THEM I TALK WITH THEM

I EVEN GO OUT ON WALKS WITH THEM

SAD TO SAY BUT THEY ARE MY FRIEND AND FAMILY

THEM DEMONS SOMETIMES THEY ARE EVEN IN MY OWN HOME

PLEASE TELL THEM TO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE

THEY ARE MY FAMILY

AT LEAST THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE

SOMETIMES APPLES DO FALL FAR FROM THE TREE

THESE DAMN DEMONS COMES IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES

YES IN ALL SORTS OF DISGUISES

I YEARN TO BE FREE FROM THESE DAMN DEMONS THAT SURROUNDS ME

YUP THEY ARE MY SO CALLED

FRIEND AND FAMILY

I CAN SEE

SOMETIMES IN THE DARK

I CAN SEE LIKE A CAT IN THE NIGHT

I CAN SEE ALL THE THINGS THAT JUST AREN'T RIGHT IN MY LIFE

YOU SAID TO ME MY LOVER MY HUSBAND LISTEN TO ME

I CAN SEE WHAT ALL LIFE PUTS YOU THROUGH SO I LISTEN

I LOOK TO YOU TO HELP GUIDE ME THROUGH

ALTHOUGH YOU'RE MY BACKBONE

SOMETIMES I CAN SEE YOU’RE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND

I FEEL SO LET DOWN

ALSO OUR LIFE TOGETHER HAS HAD ITS UPS AND IT’S DOWN

BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT

THAT I CAN COUNT ON YOU BY LEAPS AND BOUNDS

WITH YOU I CAN SEE NOW THAT IT WAS JUST WISHFUL THINKING IT’S NOT WHAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE

ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD SO I WAS TOLD AND NOW I KNOW

FOR IN THE DARK I CAN SEE YOU FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE AND NOT WHAT YOU

PORTRAY YOURSELF TO BE

I CAN SEE THAT YOU WERE NEVER ANY GOOD FOR ME

I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO MY MIND WHICH HAS ALWAYS TOLD ME THE TRUTH

I CAN SEE THAT I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO ME AND NOT LISTEN TO YOU

THE THRILL

THE THRILL OF THE CHASE IS WHAT I EMBRACE THE THRILL IS KNOWING THAT

I CAN BE WHATEVER I CHOOSE TO BE THE THRILL TO TAKE CONTROL OF MY OWN

DESTANY WITHOUT LIMITATIONS THE THRILL TO REACH THE STARS IN JUST ONE

SWOOP THE THRILL TO JUMP INTO WHATEVER I CHOOSE TO

THE THRILL TO BECOME A FORCE TO BE RECKON WITH A THRILL THAT MAKES ME A

LEADER THE THRILL THAT GIVES ME THE POWER TO FIGHT FOR WHAT’S RIGHT TO

FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE IS ALL UP TO ME KNOWING THAT GIVES ME SUCH A THRILL

WOULDN’T YOU LIKE THAT SAME THRILL TO RUN YOUR OWN LIFE THE WAY YOU

WANT IT TO BE RAN IT WOULDN’T BE A THRILL IF EVERYTHING IN LIFE WERE FREE

THEN YOU WOULDN’T HAVE ANYTHING TO FIGHT FOR AND YOU COULD JUST RUN

TO SOMETHING GREATER THAT GIVES YOU MORE WITHOUT ANY CARES IN THE

WORLD YEAH THAT WOULD BE A THRILL BUT STILL THE DREAM CONTINUES IT’S

SO REAL JUST KNOWING THAT I CAN DREAM GIVES ME SUCH A THRILL

BAD SONG

IT KEEPS COMING BACK AROUND

THE THOUGHTS OF LOSING SOMEONE

KEEPS PLAYING LIKE THE BEAT OF A DRUM

A BROKEN RECORD

IT'S LIKE A REPEAT OF A BAD SONG THAT YOU JUST HATE

BUT THEY KEEP PLAYING THE SONG OVER AND OVER AGAIN ON THE RADIO

I REQUEST A NEW SONG I HAVE NO CONTROL OF WHAT SONG THEY PLAY

ONCE IT'S ON IT'S ON BUT I DO HAVE CONTROL TO TURN THE RADIO STATION SO THAT'S WHAT I DO TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER

NO LONGER BLUE

LISTENING TO A FAST JAM THAT WILL MAKE ME GET UP TO GET DOWN

SHAKING MY BODY TO A DIFFERENT SOUND

THE BEAT SEEMS TO HELP SO NOW THAT BAD SAD SONG SAYS SO LONG

AT LEAST FOR NOW

PURCHASE THE BOOK!